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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23714599">The chemistry between us</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/anairim/pseuds/anairim'>anairim</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Day 4, First Meetings, Fluff, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, KuroKen Week 2020, M/M, Teacher-Student Relationship, Then Something More, They become friends, This is late, it's fine Kuroo's just tutoring him</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 21:28:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,589</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23714599</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/anairim/pseuds/anairim</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tetsurou has been living an uneventful life at University. That is, until he meets a very foul mouthed librarian.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>119</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The chemistry between us</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>exams during kuroken week should be illegal.<br/>sorry i'm late. I think my kuroken week will last longer than expected.<br/>not that i'm complaining. :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>It’s gotta be Tetsurou’s worst day of his life. </p><p>He had woken up that morning to the sound of his roommate's painful heaving, just in time to see him puke profusely on the carpet and then pass out on the ground, next to the puddle of vomit. He had had to say goodbye to his morning lecture in favour of cleaning, otherwise who knew for how long his room would have been smelling like shit and gastric juices. And to think that awful kid didn’t even bother to treat him nicely most of the time.</p><p>It kind of makes him regret the fact he took the time to tuck him into bed and leave him a glass full of water and ice to drink when he woke up from his slumber.</p><p>University parties were always so wild. Tetsurou didn’t really feel at ease going to those, cause rooms full of people he mostly didn’t know weren’t his cup of tea. In fact, he was usually too shy to talk to anyone and too stiff to even <em>try</em> to dance.</p><p>So he preferred rotting in his room.</p><p>And last night he was doing just that, eating one dollar ramen and studying chemical bonds from a book he got from the library cause he couldn’t afford to buy it for himself, while his roommate was drinking his sanity off at some party in the building next to their dorm. Tetsurou had fallen asleep, and when he woke up his ramen soup was all over his sheets and the book was gone.</p><p>Now, he’s strolling down to the Library, preparing a speech to convince the librarian to give him an extension in time so he can find the book and return it instead of having to pay for another copy. He sighs, cause he didn’t manage to have lunch yet and he has another lecture in a hour. He hopes the librarian will let him go without asking too many questions, without being too inquisitive, cause the excuse he found isn’t that brilliant and he also has no idea where the book might be, so he needs all the time he can manage to get to go and look for it.</p><p>He enters the old building and suddenly the temperature falls. He can’t figure out why the weather in the Library is an eternal winter, but he surely doesn’t mind it. The warmer months make his feet sweat, so a change is pretty welcome. The place feels also like another dimension, cause of the size, enormous, almost fifty meters in height, with three walls made of shelves, cramped to the brim with books of all kinds. Finding something here is like trying to look for a fish in the sea.</p><p>Tetsurou loves it, cause it makes him feel so small, and unimportant and like, even if he fails, it’s not like the rest of the world is gonna know, or care. It’s not like the shelves are gonna collapse just because <em>one</em> lame kid didn’t finish his studies in time. It’s very calming, at times. But right now, he hates it: despite having so many  the Library might crush his finances cause he lost <em>one</em> lame book. Does that mean he’s not so small and unimportant anymore?</p><p>He paves his way to the librarian's desk. There’s just one person who’s not preoccupied with other clients, so Tetsurou goes to him. It’s a kid, very young, with a very hunched back and an incredibly impenetrable expression, focused on the device in his hands, which might be a Nintendo DS or a 3DS (Tetsurou doesn’t know what the difference is). He’s playing above an open textbook and a notebook full of scribbles behind which Tetsurou can see numbers and drawings of molecules.</p><p>“You’re studying chemistry?” he asks. “Can I see your book?”</p><p>The kid goes <em>Huh?</em> but Tetsurou has already grabbed the textbook from under his elbow and he’s turning it over to see if it’s the one he’s looking for. He sighs, cause it’s not. “Really? It’s a high school one?”</p><p>“Are you a psycho?” the boy asks, tilting his head to look at him, dark streaks of hair framing his pale face, making his light brown eyes stand out in a particularly nice way.</p><p>“Are you a high schooler?” Tetsurou says, handing him his book back.</p><p>“It depends,” the boy takes it gingerly, then goes back to stare at his device’s screen. “If you’re a pedo who likes that fucked up stuff, then I’m not.”</p><p>Tetsurou stares at him, long and hard. He looks worried, with a small crease between his eyebrows, even if he’s pushing buttons without missing a beat. What kind of person speaks like that to someone he doesn’t know?</p><p>“You got it all wrong,” he says and now that the hope of retrieving his lost book has just vanished, Tetsurou becomes his usual shy self. He withdraws from the unknown boy, mutters, looking somewhere else entirely: “I…ehm… I need a bit more time.”</p><p>“Time?” the boy says, not looking up, which makes things easier for Tetsurou.</p><p>“Yes, with my book. I’m not ready to return it yet.” The boy questions him with a huff. “You lost it?”</p><p>Tetsurou’s heart misses a bit, then starts pounding everywhere in his body: his neck, his ears, his back. He’s pretty sure he blushed cause he can feel his face become <em>hot</em>. How the hell did he guess?</p><p>“<em>N-no</em>…” he stutters.</p><p>“It’s a chemistry one?” the kid asks, and now he’s staring at him with those cold, impenetrable eyes. And Tetsurou doesn’t know him, or how to react. He even forgot all of the excuses he made up while coming.</p><p>“Your major is chemistry?” This inquiry is getting uncomfortable. Tetsurou could pay the book right then and there and start economising on food just so he can get out of the situation.</p><p>“It’s my minor,” he says. “I’m sorry I lost it, I don’t know how it happened. B-but I can find it in a week.”</p><p>“Can you?” The boy stares at him long and hard. He’s impossible to read, cool and collected, and with those piercing eyes he makes Tetsurou uneasy. He nods, tentatively. “O-otherwise I’ll pay.”</p><p>“Hmm.” The kid looks at his console, then at the Library computer in front of him. “If you tutor me in chemistry for free, I’m just gonna delete the book from your card.”</p><p>Tetsurou gazes at him in disbelief. “What? Can…can you do that?”</p><p>“I don’t know, <em>can I</em>?” He turns the computer on and starts typing really fast. “Name?”</p><p>Tetsurou is pretty sure this is not a legal move. If they get caught he might get a fine and the kid might loose his job. But he really needs his money, as for now. And <em>one</em> lame missing book won’t cause the collapsing of the world. Also, it seems like this guy just fell out of the sky at the right time, cause he needs tutoring in Tetsurou’s favourite subject. Even if he’ll do the job for free, it’s not gonna be like a shit ton of work.</p><p>“Kuroo Tetsurou,” he says.</p><p>Here is his first of many errors. Here, is the start of a month of suffering.</p><p>He learns the boy’s name is Kozume Kenma, that he wants to be called by his first name and that he doesn’t even know how a water molecule is structured.</p><p>“It’s two hydrogen atoms and one of oxygen.” he says, during their first lesson. They’re sitting at one of the Library tables, close enough to be at whispering distance as to not disturb much.</p><p><em>After today</em>, Tetsurou thinks, feeling his nerves start to build cause he’s been trying to get Kenma to learn about water for at least half an hour by now. <em>We’ll need to meet up at a different place.</em></p><p>“How can you <em>not know</em> that?” he asks, struggling to keep his voice down.</p><p>Kenma has a short temper, he learns, cause he frowns up to him. “How am I supposed to?” he growls. “You need to teach me!”</p><p>Tetsurou decides it’s time for a break, so he can breathe a little and think of another strategy to get him to understand basic chemical bonds. Kenma gets out his DS (or 3DS) and starts playing, turning a little in his seat to face him and prevent him from looking at the screen.</p><p>“Don’t you have to work today?” Tetsurou asks.</p><p>“Nah,” Kenma replies. “It’s a very chill job.”</p><p>Now that Tetsurou thinks about it, Kenma is still in high school. How did he get a part-time job on campus? </p><p>He asks him just that and Kenma says it’s cause of his mad computer skills. Tetsurou remembers how fast he had found his name in the list on his computer and how accurately he had hacked the system to find the book code and to make it look like it had been returned.</p><p>“You’re not stupid,” he says.</p><p>Kenma scoffs. “Is that a compliment?” he asks, but he seems kind of <em>flushed? </em>“Your flirting skills are not mad.”</p><p>“I’m just saying it’s impossible you can’t do this.” Tetsurou taps the textbook between them.“It’s just like memorising codes. If you 're able to do that and not this, well…”</p><p>After that, Kenma seems more interested. Tetsurou learns he likes challenges when Kenma understands the water molecule’s structure in less than two minutes.</p><p>“Easy,” he says, eyes glowing with competitiveness. “What else?”</p><p>They go pretty fast from that. Kenma is a good student when he’s actually trying and, when he’s just not in the mood it’s impossible to get him to focus, so Tetsurou lets play in peace. They talk a little, during those times.</p><p>That’s when he learns Kenma’s father had taught him all about computers and got him into programming and video-games.</p><p>“Seems like a cool guy,” Tetsurou says, a bit of jealousy seeping through his voice. His own father hardly ever taught him anything, hardly ever tried to know him.</p><p>“Just a huge nerd,” Kenma replies. “Like you and your chemistry.”</p><p>By the end of the week they are regularly meeting at the cafeteria from five p.m. to seven p.m. even when Kenma has no chemistry homework, just to revise for his test quiz which is three weeks away and which will determine if he fails the class or not.</p><p>“My Mom said no more new games till I get a decent grade,” he tells him during a break. “And next month Final Fantasy VII will be out. Do you <em>understand</em> how much I need this?”</p><p>Tetsurou does not, in fact, understand, but he can tell it’s pretty important to him, so he nods anyway.</p><p>“What happens to <em>me</em> if you don’t get a decent grade?” he asks.</p><p>Kenma scowls. It seems to be his typical facial expression. “You better watch out. I’ll tell my Dad you stole the book.”</p><p>Tetsurou laughs, “You sound like Draco Malfoy. What has your dad to do with any of this?”</p><p>Looking into Kenma’s eyes, he understands he’s deadly serious. He even looks scary when he grins up at him and says: “You’re not stupid. You should have guessed it by now…”</p><p>Tetsurou gets a sick feeling to his stomach, something that resembles anxiety, cause Kenma is staring at him with a menacing glare. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“I don’t work at the library,” Kenma says. A little smile tugs at his lips: he’s clearly enjoying Tetsurou’s confusion. “It’s my dad’s job. He just wants me here cause that way I’m far from my other consoles and can’t play all day. Shame on him, I play all night long.”</p><p>It’s then that Tetsurou learns Kenma lies about… pretty much anything. It's like it's his habit. The most annoying he discovered, yet.</p><p>“I remember this stuff,” he whines, when Tetsurou tries to make him revise.</p><p>“You sure?” he says, sceptic.</p><p>“What’s a redox then?”</p><p>“It’s when a atom…” He stares up at the ceiling in the almost empty cafeteria, which is about to close for the day.</p><p>“Yes?” Tetsurou prods.</p><p>“<em>Re…doxes</em>?” Kenma stares at him with a questioning look on his face and shrugs.</p><p>“I give up,” Tetsurou says. “I’m done for tonight.”</p><p>“Ugh! Me too!” Kenma sighs, not even putting his books in his backpack, and starts playing with his console.</p><p>“Where’s your father, by the way?” Tetsurou asks.</p>
<p>“What’s your explanation for getting away from the library everyday?”</p><p>“I told him the truth,” Kenma says. He never looks into Tetsurou’s eyes when he isn’t teaching him. “Some weirdo is helping me study.”</p><p>Another week goes by and Tetsurou is surprised to discover he looks forward to see Kenma and to talk to him. Even if he’s practically being blackmailed he feels like now he has a purpose and that finally he’s being helpful to someone.</p><p>“Have you got any friends?” he asks, one day. Tetsurou always had acquaintances, despite often wishing to find someone to bury a time capsule with or to go on mindless adventures with during the summer. </p><p>In middle school, Tetsurou read a lot of novels. He got tired of them, after understanding he would never get what those promised.</p><p>Kenma says, “A ton. I’m the most popular boy at school.”</p><p>Tetsurou sips his afternoon coffe, staring down at Kenma with disbelief until he looks up from his game, scowling.</p><p>“<em>Wow</em>.” He huffs. “Homophobic of you to think the twink of the school can’t also be the jock.”</p><p>He gets red splotches on his face almost immediately. Tetsurou had quickly learned he blushes like that when caught off guard or when he lies about something that hits too close to home for him.</p><p>Kenma drowns in the chair, crossing his arms, and Tetsurou thinks he might have made him uncomfortable cause, for once, he doesn’t look like a sassy bitch ready to spit some venom. He looks upset. The ugly, shameful kind of upset. Tetsurou knows the feeling well. And because he does and he is a nice person, he tries to make him feel better. “Back in my days I was the twink of the school too.”</p><p>Avoiding eye contact, to make him feel more at ease, he tells Kenma about his dull, grey days as a gay high schooler. “People didn’t want me on the volleyball team cause I told them I liked boys. So they kicked me out.”</p><p>He remembers that time distinctly. The first thing to ever die in him was his passion for volleyball.</p><p>“That <em>sucks</em>,” Kenma says, voice full of contempt and of something else. Regret? Compassion?</p><p>“They act as if I don’t exist cause they’re scared of catching it,” he says then. “Just cause I kissed a boy once.”</p><p>Tetsurou’s heart does a flip. Kenma is being honest to him. He’s giving him something personal to cherish. He feels like he’s receiving a gift. He feels like they’ve just become closer.</p><p>“I’m so sorry,” he tells him. “That’s your boyfriend?”</p><p>“No.” Kenma turns his head to the side, quickly and his shoulders tense up. He relaxes almost immediately, though, and looks back to Tetsurou. “Yes? I don’t really know. He changed school before I could check for sure.”</p><p>“And?”</p><p>“<em>And</em> what?” Kenma is getting restless, he can tell. It’s incredible how much he has grown to know him just by having him by his side for a couple of hours every day. The way he sighs when he doesn’t understand something, the way his shoulders drop when he starts getting tired, the way he yawns when he hasn’t slept the night before.</p><p>Tetsurou learned all this stuff about him in two weeks. He feels himself getting hungry for more. He wishes he could see Kenma in the morning and in the evening, to have a complete idea of how he behaves when he steps out of these two hours he spends with him.</p><p>“He just never reached out to me again,” Kenma tells him, in the end. “Left me on read on every social media.”</p><p>“What a loser,” Tetsurou scoffs.</p><p>“Yeah, right!” Kenma says, but he sounds ironic and unconvinced.</p><p>“I’m being serious,” Tetsurou says, then, lifting his voice up a bit. Some people at the table besides theirs shifts to see what the ruckus is about, but then go back to their conversation almost right away.</p><p>“He’s a loser <em>and</em> a quitter,” he tells Kenma then. “Giving you up like that. What a coward.”</p><p>“Maybe his family didn’t <em>want</em> him to be gay.” Kenma squirms in his own arms, looking so different and vulnerable. He’s almost unrecognisable. Tetsurou might just have discovered a whole new side of him. A side that makes him… incredibly <em>sweet</em>.</p><p>“I was lucky with mine.” He smiles a little, then asks: “Do you have any friends?”</p><p>Tetsurou never had one, in his entire life. Middle school and high school went by in an inconsistent blur. Faces and names got mixed up in his head like a meaningless cocktail.</p><p>He feels like never existed. Not until now.</p><p>“I don’t know,” he says, side-eyeing Kenma. He takes a sip of his coffe cause his throat is incredibly dry for some reason. “Are you my friend?”</p><p>Kenma frowns a bit, says, “<em>Ew</em>,” and, just as Tetsurou is about to run away in shame, he adds, in a tiny, soft voice: “Yes.”</p><p>As the third week passes on, Kenma’s test gets closer.</p><p>They study for longer hours cause one of Tetsurou’s courses ended a bit ago. This means, obviously, that exams are getting closer too. He needs to study, Kenma can’t just text him at twelve p.m. asking to play Leagues of Legends with him.</p><p><em>buuuut you’we my fwend</em>, his last text says.<em> wemembew?</em></p><p>Tetsurou closes his physics book, cause he knows Kenma’s gonna bug him non-stop if he doesn’t answer and also, he’s not even that focused.</p><p><em>you should sleep,</em> he types to him. <em>small boys need to grow.</em></p><p><em>ugh,, talk like an old man,</em> Kenma answers. <em>are you even a full year older than me?</em></p><p>Tetsurou chuckles, trying no to be too loud as to not wake up his sleeping roommate, who gets in his crankiest moods when his rest is interrupted.</p><p>
  <em>c’mon! what’s this legends and dragons? how do i get it? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>omg, you don’t fucking know LoL? it’s a game, you need to download it. *eyeroll*</em>
</p><p>When Tetsurou finally downloads the game he dies immediately in battle. Over chat, Kenma explains the controls to him, then gifts him some special equipment to make his character level up faster.</p><p>They go around in a magic world, slaying beasts for money and warring against other people, together.</p><p>His character’s name is<em> CAPtain-ugly</em>, suggested by Kenma, cause all the other ones Tetsurou thought of were taken. Kenma’s character’s name is <em>applepi</em>, which is both nerdy and childish. But, even if they have weird names, as he plays, Tetsurou can feel himself become jealous of CAPtain-ugly and applepi, just going on mindless adventures in a world full of magic creatures and heroic missions that just await them. He understands what’s the appeal of the game and why, someone like Kenma, who’s going through a difficult situation so similar to Tetsurou’s might turn to this marvellous world of fantasy and <em>meaning</em> for comfort.</p><p>Tetsurou’s heart fills with pride as he learns Kenma let him enter a place he considers home. Until then, he hadn’t realised how much he needed someone to trust him like that. He starts crying, silently.</p><p> </p><p>Kenma’s test happens during one of Tetsurou’s morning lectures. His phone begins to buzz uncontrollably and when he checks who’s messaging him so insistently (while he tries to take notes and keep focus at the same time) he’s not really surprised to discover it’s Kenma. Mainly, cause Kenma’s the only person who sends him texts at all hours and without Tetsurou expecting them.</p><p><em>did i do this one right??!!!</em> Kenma’s saying. There’s a picture, after that, very blurry, of a quiz question. Tetsurou can see clearly just the square in which Kenma put a black dot to segnalate his answer. He has to squint at his phone and get really close to it to read it and, since it takes time to decipher, Kenma sends him a whole bunch of new texts.</p><p><em>kuro i see you, fucker,,,, answer meee.</em> And then: <em>do this one for me, it’s too hard.</em></p><p>Tetsurou, frowns at the following pictures, types: <em>if they didn’t catch you yet, would you mind taking better snaps??</em> And then: <em>anyway that answer was right, you’re doing good.</em></p><p>Kenma says: <em>idiot. gotta b fast.</em> Then: <em>you=you’re doing good,, me=teacher’s pet.</em></p><p>In the end, the test goes great. While Kenma gets a 89, Tetsurou gets a text, saying: <em>89, bitch, ever seen a grade better than that?</em></p><p>He answers:<em> i’ve seen 100.</em></p><p>Kenma tells him: <em>shut up. so you’re an awful teacher. can’t get your students to be better than you.</em></p><p>After that, he stops coming to the Library with his father. They just talk through the phone and play RPGs together and it’s fine. It really is. It’s nice to have someone to talk too when you’re feeling down. Tetsurou usually tells him whatever, but, somehow, not having him by his side makes him feel like something’s amiss. Kenma sends him a picture of his new game, two days after his test.</p><p>Tetsurou replies with:<em> let me know what’s it about.</em></p><p>Kenma says: <em>sure thing. thnx a lot. u know,,, for helping me. did you find the book anyway?</em></p><p>Tetsurou had, in fact, found the book. Just about three hours earlier in his dorm common room. It was being used under a too short table leg to make it even. He’d left it there, cause it wasn’t like they were gonna fine him anymore.</p><p><em>yeah but i still don’t know who took it,</em> he writes, and then puts his phone down. He doesn’t pick it up, even if it keeps buzzing.</p><p>A month goes by. Tetsurou speaks with Kenma a lot less over phone and starts to think their friendship it’s just gonna evaporate. He has also less time to play with him at LoL, and Kenma’s going to graduate soon and things between them are so casual they can’t continue without solid bases. So, Tetsurou’s days go slowly back to their usual dullness and greyness. </p><p>He doesn’t even know how he finds himself in the Library, one afternoon. He intends to finally return the book he had recovered from under the leg table. As he goes there, though, he realises the book’s just an excuse. He wants to meet Kenma’s father, wants to tell him he’s the one who gave his son private lessons for free, wants to know how Kenma’s doing by someone who can <em>see</em> him everyday.</p><p>He asks for <em>Kozume</em> at the desk and there’s no doubt the man that approaches him is Kenma’s dad. He’s just like him, with the same huge, light brown eyes. Only difference he’s a bit more lively and <em>cheery</em> than his son.</p><p>“I had lost this,” he says, handing him the book, after the man greets him. “But your son deleted it from my card to get free chemistry lessons.”</p><p>His explanation is nothing but a poor attempt of delivering a summary. He believes it would make anyone confused, but it doesn’t with <em>this</em> man.</p><p>“Kenma’s such a sly kid,” he says and he almost seems proud of his son doing crimes. “But he didn’t erase the file properly.”</p><p>He goes <em>tsk,</em> then sighs and shakes his head. “Kuro, right? Thanks for helping him.”</p><p>Tetsurou looks in this man’s eyes as he’s touching the cover of a library book, stained with dust from under a chair’s leg and wonders if he knows his name just because his son had talked about him. Flustered, cause apparently he can’t think about Kenma being so fond of him to the point of <em>speaking</em> about him to his family, he mutters: “No, hm, that’s okay…really. He’s great.”</p><p>The man laughs. “He is!” Then gets serious again and says: “He’s been so happy, recently. Is… is there <em>something</em> going on between you guys?”</p><p>Tetsurou falters.<em> No</em> is the most immediate answer, but.. is it the truth? He doesn’t know. They flirt a lot and they are both gay and Tetsurou’s pretty sure the way he’s missing him, <em>physically</em>, it’s not just because he wants a friend back. He’s attracted to him, to his voice and the way he talks, the way he sits and the way he bites his lips while trying to solve a hard question. Or the way his eyes shine like gems when he gets challenged.</p><p>He hadn’t known before. But he does now.</p><p>Still, he fails to answer cause he isn’t exactly sure of Kenma’s feelings for him.</p><p>His father takes it the wrong way, though. “Don’t worry, you can tell me. I’m my son’s father not his tormentor. He’s free to love.”</p><p>That speech makes Tetsurou’s heart float. Oh, how wonderful would it be to have a father like that! Someone always by your side and ready to fight for you.</p><p>Because he feels like he can trust him, he says: “We aren’t talking a lot, though. I’m scared we’ll loose touch.”</p><p>The next day, at four p.m., Kenma sends him a text: <em>meet me at the cafe?</em></p><p>Tetsurou is studying for an upcoming exam and is tempted not to respond but then he thinks about the novels he gave up at twelve years old, about volleyball, which he gave up without even trying. Giving up Kenma <em>now</em> feels like something Tetsurou would do. Too scared of rejection. Too afraid of commitment. Yeah, Tetsurou would just let Kenma slip from his grasp like sand. They’re just fishes in the sea, how are they supposed to keep together? </p><p>But then, a hopeful and selfish part of himself screams to <em>just go!</em> and he gets up, and just goes and starts running cause in the end, Tetsurou never stopped reading novels, he never stopped liking volleyball.</p><p>He still hoped. He still hopes.</p><p>And now, Kenma is there, sitting at a cafeteria table, waiting for him, playing on his 3DS (now Tetsurou knows).</p><p>He sees him and waves, gesturing for him to sit on the other chair. “My Mom made you cookies to thank you,” he says, pushing a bag of home baked cookies in his hand.</p><p>“What?” Tetsurou says. “There’s no need.”</p><p>“Next year,” Kenma tells him, biting his lip, ignoring him completely. There’s like an urgency to him. It’s the same thing Tetsurou feels in his own body, as he struggles to maintain calm and collected, to wait patiently as Kenma finishes talking. “I’ll come here to study.”</p><p>It feels like an invitation to talk, like Kenma is trying to get him to say something. Something that’s been between them for a lot of time, through the texts and all the chatting.</p><p>“So don’t change school before I can check for sure.” </p><p>"Check what?” 

Kenma sighs, puts his console down and it looks like it’s costing him a lung. He tries to keep his hands steady, Tetsurou notices, and his jittery movements make him uneasy too. He wishes he could hold him and stop him from shaking or, rather, start trembling with him.</p><p>He feels like it wouldn’t make a difference.</p><p>“If you’re my boyfriend,” Kenma finally says. And then: “Are you?”</p><p>Tetsurou smiles really wide, says: “<em>Ew</em>,” and then, with a tiny, hopeful voice: “Yes.”</p>
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